Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
