the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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