At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Floor bacon is actually really good
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize