went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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