am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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