it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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