Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
