Small penises have feelings too.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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