In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
