i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There are leaves in my underwear?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
