the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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