How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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