New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
