Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
