She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
