So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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