Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
