i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
