there was a trapeze. enough said
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm just crazy horny about you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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