I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
