You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
babies were throwing up all over the place
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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