What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
