Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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