people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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