We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
