come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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