my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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