You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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