I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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