Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
time to smoke my breakfast
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
