I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
