4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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