I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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