living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
