She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
