I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
