I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize