Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
