This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Fuck appropriateness.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
