If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
