Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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