Christians are straight up FREAKS
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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