Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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