they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
