i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
