And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
