i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
