what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
