I'm drive I can fine osifer
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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