Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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