haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
