Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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