I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
