do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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