Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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