there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
