I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
