Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
where are my eyebrows?
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