She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
