so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
