We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
