i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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