We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize