If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
