I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
