You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
