too bad you live with your parents still
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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